Is it really “right person, wrong timing?”
5 min read So many people say “right person, wrong timing.” To that, I must say, how so?
Relationships of all kinds are unions, based on becoming. To be one with, to see intimately, to relate. When you think of the words: communicate, commune, connect, combat, concensus, and “con” in Spanish, the prefix com/con means “with.” This prefix means with or together,
When you join a union and be(com)e one with another, you’re birthing something new. That is premise 1.
To birth, to become, to (com)municate is to create life. To connect is to birth a new energy into the world. This is why, in astrology, we look at compatibility charts, such as composite charts, to determine what energy a new relationship carries.
What will your union give life to?
What is your union creating?
What is your union destroying?
What is your union transforming?
So, when we discuss ‘right person, wrong timing’ the question really is: what was created during this time?
Is it the right person’s wrong timing or was there a struggle to capture the opportunity offered?
If every new relationship presents an opportunity for a new life, but that opportunity goes unnoticed, how can anything worthwhile be fulfilled? Every relationship is an opportunity to birth something new. What did everyone do with it?
In future connections, what will you do with the opportunity?
There is an aspect of opportunity, creation & resources in all connections. Maybe it’s not timing. Maybe it has nothing to do with timing at all.
Maybe the timing of the union coming together is the opportunity.
What are we doing with our time? What are we doing with these opportunities? How can we maximize each precious moment spent with a person?
To my next point,
You show up in a connection with what you know.
This is the aspect of resourcefulness and knowledge. The point at which you enter a connection, you walk in with what you know, regarding relationships and yourself. Of course, relationships teach us how to be in connection and how to love. However, capacities and wisdom heavily determine how you’re showing up at that moment.
That means some relationships will be more successful than others, depending on who is involved, and what everyone is aware of. At that time, that is what you knew. That was your capacity. That was their capacity. Is that so wrong? With growth possible in the future and so much learning to do through lived experience, why must it be the wrong timing? Is it always the wrong timing when things don’t work out? or was that exactly what it needed to be during that time?
When we think about resourcefulness and knowledge, it’s also about access and capacity. Access is another opportunity. The success of any connection, whether platonic or romantic, is partially dependent on accessing the tools for more knowledge and growth.
If you start a connection with proactive therapy in place, you may set your connection up for better success than a connection that didn’t have that. WE know how therapy goes though. That’s a privilege. That’s an opportunity.
If everyone invests in books or exchanges knowledge to learn about community care, love, healing, etc then everyone is already at an advantage in the fruitfulness of the connections.
There is an aspect of opportunity that comes with all connections.
Maybe it wasn't the timing. It is very possible that the timing was just right, but opportunities fell through. The work remained undone. The wounds allowed to fester and cause chaos. The lack of awareness blinded all aspects of growth and opportunity. These are the situations of people who feel so deeply but just can’t seem to get it together.
Is it “wrong timing” or is it an unfulfilled opportunity? What was created? Hmm..
All that pondering to say, I do believe in the concept that the right person must be in the right place at the right time to receive certain things as aligned with their destiny. Similarly, I also believe the right person could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. For the sake of philosophy, this is simply an argument against timing but also a calling to think about connections as so much more.
So, I ask you again…
In future connections, what will you do with the opportunity?
What do you think?