What To Do When You Feel Lost: Finding Purpose, Success, and Destiny
This past week, I had three fruitful conversations about my life direction. All three conversations echoed similar sentiments. I walked away from each conversation with affirmation and insightful realizations. One individual said something that truly struck me. This person said, “Enough people are living normal, acceptable lives to hold it down on that side. We need you to live like you. Let go of the shoulds. Your life shows people a new way."
Over the past 1.5 years as a digital nomad, I've experienced moments when I question If I should settle down and live a seemingly traditional life. Each time this question arises, the Universe reminds me of the value of individual paths.
Throughout life, you will likely experience the feeling of being lost and unsure about your life direction. Looking around, considering what everyone else is doing ultimately throws you into a continuous cycle of performing ideas of what "should be."
If you feel like you're constantly chasing someone else's idea of success, it's time to let go of the "shoulds" and embrace your authentic self.
From birth, the world projects these versions of success onto you. They speak prayers over how they wish your life to be. They either cast judgment or claim validity over your life based on whether the direction aligns with their ideas of success. The world wishes you to chase a destiny you never consented to leading to pressure, competition, confusion, “should” statements, struggle, and a collective striving to reach for and be the same.
This is your reminder that success is determined by your destiny. What is right for you is something you find within.
The Key to Understanding Your Purpose & Destiny
To align with this destiny, look to your Ori. When you are unsure, look to your Ori. Your Ori can be "your greatest friend and your most formidable enemy." When unsure, it is Ori whom you consult first.
"The Orí, the royal essence of a being, is a personal deity and the seat of Àṣẹ that guides directs, and helps a certain being from the moment of birth, throughout life, and even after death.
The literal translation of the term Orí is the head (about the body), which is the highest symbol of Orí inú, the inner head.
The symbols of Orí are our head and our identity. The Orí is an amalgamation of the soul, the mind, the essence, the personality, character traits, and all of the emotions that a person experiences; it is what forms our mode of operation."
Read more about Ori here.
Your Ori guides your destiny. Pray to your Ori every morning asking for clarity and alignment. As the keeper of your destiny, your Ori, this sense of being provides signals, intuition, and callings that guide you towards what is right for you as based on your spirit and soul. To be aligned with your Ori means to follow it, devotedly and authentically.
Authenticity means being free to determine your path, ideas, and concept of success.
So why do so many people struggle to be authentic? From birth, we're bombarded with society's versions of success, judgment, and validity that don't necessarily align with our destiny. That can ultimately leave us feeling directionless and lost.
How do I find direction in my life? What is my purpose?
Ask yourself: Who do I want to be? What am I here to do? What is my why? What leaves me feeling fulfilled? What does success look like to me in my life? Am I chasing my destiny or someone else's? If you'd like a full list of questions to further explore, check out the Little Book of Shadow Work Ebook Volume 1 and Volume 2.
When aligned with your Ori, you'll find direction, assurance, and stability. When you understand your why, your purpose will be clear. Your destiny and purpose is unique to you, so don't let the world taint your vision. Sit with yourself in moments of confusion and feel your why.
How do I know If I'm following my destiny?
Even practitioners of African Traditional Religion ask themselves this question. That's what initiation provides: your life destiny. When you undergo intiation, you recieve your Odu and that Odu informs you of your individual path.
However, that's a process that takes time and resources. For those uninitiated, in different faiths, or simply wanting to know...here's a hint: you are following your destiny when you feel peace, purpose, and natural drive. Pursuing things that are not in your destiny leaves you feeling disturbed and restless.
Feeling out of place, lost, or seemingly "off" is a key indicator that the path is diverging from your destiny. These feelings can indicate you're chasing a version of life you didn't choose. Release directions that are not from your spirit-driven destiny and desire.
When you are aligned with your destiny, you'll feel it. It aligns with your why. You feel a sense of fulfillment, purpose and drive.
Another great way to better understand your path is to check into your Human Design. Human Design teaches you what you came here to do and how to live in alignment with your self.
Lastly, when you feel lost, start exploring. Try new things. Get inspired. Be creative. Wander and wonder. Wonderment is a state of being that keeps you intrigued by life and in pursuit of new things that spark joy. It's beautiful.
To Conclude + A Song Recommendation
Align with who you came here to be and you will feel peace. Chasing someone else’s version of success will leave you feeling inadequate. As long as you chase someone else's version of anything, it won't feel completely right. It is the desire to chase another’s version of success that keeps people feeling inadequate, feeling unstable, and fragmented rather than whole.
Live your life. Live on your terms. It'll change your life, and when you have moments of second guessing, affirm that you are doing what you are meant to. Keep your destiny as your foundation, and you will follow the right direction while finding guidance in the moments you feel lost.